why do men accuse us wemen.

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amanda strickland asked 13 years ago

My husband and i just split up….throughout our marriage he was always accussing me of cheating…….I know he knows its not true but he continues to do it……I try to prove to him that I’m not…but he would rather believe that I’m cheating,,,rather than know the truth. what is he trying to acomplash?

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Best Answer
Insight Psychological Staff answered 12 years ago

What you are going through right now is very difficult. It’s hard to be wrongfully accused, especially when you feel you have no power to clear your own name. Nobody wants other people to think negative thoughts about them (especially thoughts like “you are a cheater”). This is especially difficult when these thoughts and accusations are coming from an intimate partner.

It’s hard to say why your husband insisted on accusing you of cheating although you weren’t. Perhaps we was cheated on in the past and is now living in fear of it happening again. Perhaps he feels insecure and therefore believes he is not worthy of love. All of these are assumptions and I am unable to tell you exactly why he would accuse you of cheating.

I hope you are able to find a way to put your mind at ease and remain clear on who you are and what you value and believe. A separation is a very difficult thing to go through, so make sure you are taking care of yourself and finding peace. As far as interacting with your husband, you can remain clear that you were not cheating on him, but you don’t need to put too much energy into “proving” it to him. His accusations say more about him than they do about you.

Good luck to both of you.