How can I deal with my prolonged grief?
My mother died over two years ago and I am still having trouble coming to terms with it for multiple reasons. It is causing problems in my marriage and life in general.
The Worst Possible Case
In the last two years I have gone through some major losses including losing my business, divorce, loss of house, cheating now ex-girlfriend and a close friends’ suicide. I was forced to move to my home town and now work a temp job while renting a room. I’m not really sure if I’m dealing with all of the losses alright. I am constantly anxious, depressed and am unable to concentrate at work. I am in constant fear that more tragic events will happen. Even more I expect them. I’ve lost total faith in myself and others. I even avoid friends and family as I’m ashamed of what I’ve become. It seems like every time I make positive step another “oh my God” moment happens which makes the light at the end of the tunnel seem so far away. I have also developed what I’m assuming is nervous tick when things get stressful. I would consult a doctor but am not currently covered. Any suggestions?
Death of Parents and Older Sibling Issues
To make a very, very, long story short: I am 39. My Dad died 9 yrs ago and now my Mom just passed away this summer (4 months ago). My sisters are 10 & 12 yrs older than me. I am trying to deal with the death of my parents and they keep telling me “just deal with it”. I have always had “the little sister syndrome” and never seem to be at the same stage of life as them. There is such a gap. Never felt close to my sisters and now without my parents, I feel I have no connections left to them. I’ve googled and searched, but cannot find any sources that there are others out there with such a gap between siblings and how they deal with it. People say to surround yourself with others who make you feel good… my sisters do not do that to me. So, is it bad that I just want to go on with my little life and my family? My sisters seem to cause me more stress and unhappiness than anything.