Anyone can find themselves in a narcissistic relationship, as narcissists often target individuals who are empathetic and supportive. These relationships can be deeply damaging to mental health because narcissists use manipulation, gaslighting, and emotional abuse to erode their partner’s self-esteem and sense of reality. Over time, victims may develop anxiety, depression, or PTSD due to the constant cycle of idealization and devaluation, leaving them feeling trapped, confused, and emotionally drained.
Narcissism can manifest as a personality trait or a clinical disorder:
- Trait Narcissism: Involves entitlement, grandiosity, constant need for attention, lack of empathy, and envy.
- Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD): A cluster B personality disorder that includes these traits. Vulnerable subtypes may also show hypersensitivity and defensiveness. NPD often coexists with other conditions like bipolar disorder or substance use disorders.
Narcissistic Abuse
Narcissistic abuse is a hidden form of manipulation that involves emotional, psychological, and sometimes physical tactics. Abusers often present a charming, considerate facade to outsiders but subject their victims, or “supply,” to cycles of idealization, devaluation, and discarding. Common tactics include:
- Gaslighting (making victims doubt their reality)
- Emotional and psychological manipulation
- DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender)
- In severe cases, physical or sexual abuse
Effects of Narcissistic Abuse
Victims often experience profound mental, emotional, and physical effects, including:
- Mental Health: Depression, anxiety, PTSD
- Cognitive Effects: Memory loss, self-doubt, cognitive dissonance
- Physical Health: Stress-related illnesses, weakened immune systems
- Emotional Impact: Shame, guilt, anger, grief
Treatment and Healing
Healing from narcissistic abuse requires a comprehensive approach, addressing mental, emotional, and physical recovery. Effective treatments include:
- Therapy
- Trauma-Focused Therapy: Helps process and heal from the emotional scars of abuse.
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Reframes maladaptive beliefs instilled by the abuser and promotes healthier thought patterns.
- Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR): Effective for trauma and PTSD symptoms.
- Group Therapy: Provides support from individuals with shared experiences.
- Education
- Learning about narcissistic abuse helps victims recognize the patterns and understand that the abuse was not their fault.
- Self-Care and Lifestyle Adjustments
- Stress Reduction: Practices like mindfulness, yoga, and meditation help regulate emotions and reduce stress.
- Physical Health: Regular exercise, balanced nutrition, and adequate sleep support overall recovery.
- Boundaries and Support Networks
- Building healthy boundaries is crucial to preventing further manipulation.
- Establishing a strong support network of friends, family, or professionals aids the healing process.
Breaking the Cycle
Awareness and treatment are critical in breaking free from the cycle of narcissistic abuse. By seeking professional help, fostering self-compassion, and addressing the long-term effects, survivors can reclaim their sense of self and build healthier relationships.
Recovery is possible, and with the right resources and support, victims can heal and thrive beyond the shadow of abuse.
What will I get out of treatment with Insight Psychological?
If you’re in an abusive relationship, getting the right therapy may help you to leave that relationship. If you are in an abusive situation and you are afraid for your life or your personal safety, call 911.
If you are a survivor of abuse, Insight can help you to deal with the trauma and aftermath so that you can go on to experience healthier relationships and better quality of life overall.
Insight can provide you with in-person, online, or telephone counselling. Contact us to learn more or to book an appointment.
Note: Insight can also provide therapy for abusers.
Written by Selina Kanagasuriam, Therapist, Canadian Certified Counsellor.
